I am not going to lie….I am NOT a “party girl”. Staying at home with a glass of wine, Netflix, a good book, and food is more my speed. Meme’s of guys posting this is what they want in a woman is beginning to circulate and I begin to laugh because this isn’t what they want. This isn’t a new calmer me because of what I have been through this has always been me. Marching to the beat of my own drum is something that I take pride in, but I have come to realize that guys say this is what they want but what they want is wildness and excitement; fights and drama, things that I am really not going to give them. Peace in the storm is what I pride myself on being but it gets boring, shit I will tell you I am boring in a heartbeat; even my extracurriculars aren’t exciting. Well, at least not in the “every night I have to fight to prove my love way.”
When ready to decompress from a long day no one wants to come home to drama, at least I don’t and dudes are lying and saying they don’t want to either. Shit, I want a sense of comfort I deal with anxiety and stress on my own, and if that’s what you’re bringing in my direction just leave me alone. I am not saying that I won’t listen to you rant, rave, yell, or get angry because that’s fine but that’s as far as it should go. Relaxation is important to me. Peace is easy for me to achieve because I am not dealing with any more bullshit. Before you come at me wanting a girl that’s going to be your peace be sure that you’re ready for that life and that’s for both men and women. I am my own peace and you have to either add to that in my life or be gone. We can’t depend on anyone to be our peace because that comes from within just like happiness but we can rid our lives of those that cause and create chaos.